Cake or Death

Cake or death...?

What was once a comedic skit by the interesting yet hysterical Eddie Izzard has now become my mantra. Well, it doesn't even need to be cake. It can be pie, brownies, salad, fruit, ritz crackers, cheese, vanilla malt mix, and so on. Whatever I'm craving at that specific moment.

This is insane. I can't stop eating. Am I addicted to food? Nope- just pregnant. And baby doesn't feel that cereal and fruit is enough in the mornings so we are on a rampage.

I had an eating out-of-body experience today. You see, an interesting coworker of mine decided to tell me how incredible vanilla malt mix tastes on ice cream. (Eh...ew- was my first thought and then I quickly dismissed the conversation from my mind). I came into work to find a little clear baggy full of yellow-ish powder folded on my desk. It worried me at first. I've seen movies like this and it looked like discoloured cocaine (like I just stated, I've seen movies). So, I wasn't quite sure what to do about it. My first thought was to throw it away, but I decided to conspicuously hide it under my arms until I found the druggie culprit behind this (no one would expect the pregnant lady, right???). Finally, this interesting coworker of mine comes up to me and the lightbulb comes on (only he would put something like this on my desk). And sure enough, he did. Only, it wasn't drugs, it was vanilla malt mix (my, aren't I the extremist?). After explaining to me his story again, he stated that he just bought some and thought he would bring some to work for me to try. I thought that was pretty thoughtful, but was still weary of the contents. So, the hours come and go. I work and work until lunch and then scarf down a big plate of food (ugh). Then, it's walk time and then back to work. Well, wouldn't ya know. That big plate of food couldn't keep the hunger beast away and I started getting hungry again (boy, aren't I sick of eating!). This is when I have my eating out-of-body experience. One minute I'm typing up a contract, the next, I'm ripping open that bag of vanilla malt mix, licking my finger, and stuffing it in the bag. I do this several times and cannot stop. Must....eat....more....tastes....like....the center.....of......a......malt ball....

Seriously?! Seriously?!

Hey! Don't judge me unless you've been there! ;-)